Fed up of Toxic Behaviours

Philippa in her wheelchair in the back garden

I really don’t know what is going on, but i seem to have become a magnet for toxic behaviours in the last couple of years. From women with really quite nasty behaviour who take credit for other people’s work and can’t hold a conversation with anyone without shouting and screaming and being completely disrepectful, to men who are sexually charged and think they are entitled to a piece of me.

One thing I would like to say before I address this behaviour further is that I have never been approached by anyone from the LGBTIQA+ community wanting a piece of me or thinking that they are entitled to something i’m not willing to give. Whether that be sexually charged or completely disrespectful behaviour. So a message to any Gender Criticals out there I have never felt safer anywhere else than in the company of people from this community.

It’s almost like some people don’t understand the meaning of the word no. I mean I have to ask is it the N or the O that you struggle to understand. Let me spell it out for you. If you ask me a question and I say no it means i don’t want what you are offering. If you then try to reframe that question and i still say no that doesn’t mean i want you turning up at my door unannounced forcing what you are offering upon me and then getting angry because i am non compliant to your desires.

This is my life and you have to ask permission to be involved in my life. If I don’t want what you are offering then you should get over it and find someone who does want what your offering and leave me alone. Just because i was open to your company once does not mean i will be open to your company every single time that you want mine.

I really think that Psychology books should be on everyone’s reading list and should be part of secondary school education especially child development. This is because being a parent is the largest occupation of society and how you treat your child will determine whether that child will grow up to have toxic behaviours.

One that i consider to be my bible is Feel the Fear and do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers. It teaches you to overcome what you are fearful of, helps you to set boundries and how not to piss other people off.

Here are a few links to help you understand different human behaviours of the toxic kind (and yes i have been guilty of some of these behaviours and I work on these every minute of everyday because I am far from perfect)

The important thing to remember is if you are targeted by someone with these behaviours then it is best to engage with these people as little as possible, only when absolutely necessary (work related or social event that you can’t get out of), set clear boundaries and go no contact if all else fails.

In conclusion to this article I can read toxic behaviours but not everyone can. I see it as both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because it means i can usually protect myself and recognise when someone is trying to manipulate me for their own gains. But I also see it as a curse because i can read the behaviour and I do get caught up in it sometimes and if I see people being hurt by that behaviour I will try to protect them from it no matter how much it hurts me.

So if you have toxic behaviour as is stated in the articles I have shared, don’t bother trying to manipulate or control me because it will never happen. I will always fight against these toxic behaviours and I will never give you the time of day to satisfy your unacceptable terms you will just be wasting your time and energy. My suggestion to you would be to seek professional help.

Sunday 8 May 2022 1 pm

And the unannounced door knocking continues today. This has really got me thinking lately that the quote “you had me at hello” may have started out as a joke, but i’m starting to think for some people it’s a little more sinister than a joke.

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